A Birthday and Choices

Sydney went to a birthday party this weekend. Her buddy Peter (okay, really my buddy Kara's son, but we think the kids will get to be buddies, we hope the kids will get to be buddies) turned one. We wound up having to leave early because Sydney's tummy was upset and I spent most of the time we were there taking pictures with Kara's camera, so I this is the only picture I have of the birthday boy on my camera (that's him buried in the sand, Sydney is on the other side of the lady wearing the black leggings and that's Peter's daddy's shadow on the ground):



Up until it was time to leave, Sydney had a pretty good time. There were swings (which she loves) and a huge sandpit, complete with excavation machines:


Oh, and one of Peter's other friends or relatives brought a tricycle:

I know that at some point Sydney's friend base will shift from being the children of people I'm friends with to being children she meets on her own. I get that and I know that it starts mostly when they start school, but I can't say I'm looking forward to it. Right now, I have hand picked all of the children whose birthday parties she will be invited to. I know Peter's families religious views, their moral standards, and their philosophies of child raising. I know these things because Kara is one of my best friends and we talk about these things. I know where Kara and I agree and where we disagree. I know that I may let Sydney look at the drink menu at a restaurant to keep her occupied, but that Peter may not. I know that Peter may eat chicken nuggets and Sydney may not. And I know that these are small little parenting choices that really don't affect whether or not Kara and I can respect each other as parents.

But what about these other friends Sydney will make in the future? Will their parents allow them to order off of the drink menu? Will their parents tell Sydney she's killing innocent animals if she does eat a chicken nugget and make her feel guilty?

Of all the things you can choose for your children when they are young (what to eat, what to wear, when to go to bed), the one I think I will miss the most is choosing her friends.