Christmas 2009

This Christmas has been bittersweet. The loss of James stays with us, but at three, Sydney is just at the age where Christmas has meaning, anticipation, and really, a life of its own. It was very difficult for all of us to maintain the season for Sydney's sake, but I know it was worth the doing and she had a very merry Christmas.

We started Christmas activities on November 29th, the first Sunday of Advent. It was also the Sunday after we got back from our first trip to Houston. Sydney and I did some crafts and read about the Christmas story.

The following week, we were back in Houston for the funeral, and that's when Sydney got to experience her first snow. The weekend after the funeral was also the Saturday of Dickens on the Strand, an annual event in Galveston. Back before everything had happened, I had really wanted to take the kids so I was glad when Sydney's Grandpa Nolen asked if we wanted to step aside from our grief for the day and try to enjoy some family time.

Since Uncle James really liked bagpipes, we were thrilled to see some in the parade, but sadly Sydney disagreed with her uncle and thought the bagpipes were just too loud.

She did, though, find a bow and arrow to play with (and buy) which would have certainly met with Uncle James approval.

We also found a man who would let you ride his old fashioned bicycle for a dollar. Money well spent, I say.

Our other big pre-Christmas event was the annual Gingerbread House making at the church. As with last year, Jeremy was in charge of construction, I managed decoration, and Sydney managed assisting with it all. Not unlike how we divide labor at home, I might add.

The finished product was (if I do say so myself) impressive:

Over the course of the Christmas season, I was grateful for how much time Sydney got to spent with her friends and relations. I have been to enough funerals to know that they tend to reconnect a family, reinforcing old relationships that had waned in the intervening years, but I had not experienced that with small children to realize what a jump that kind of connection might give to a future relationship.

We spent a good amount of time with Jeremy's stepsister Serita and her family, for example, and I realized how similar a lot of our parenting styles are and how well our kids play together. We also found out the Grandpa and Grandma Nolen will be moving back to Texas in the new year and were very excited to be able to spent time with them before Christmas knowing that it wouldn't be all the way to the next Christmas before we would see them again.

We also saw the love and support from my family during a difficult time. I will never forget the Gonzalez family taking Jack for almost two weeks and taking better care of them than I could at the time. Or calling Uncle Nick three hours before the funeral and asking if he could procure a top coat from Uncle Don, knowing for certain that the answer would be "yes." Or being able to call my mother while I was still in the midst of grief, asking her to step in and play with Sydney, to be happy for her sake. Or knowing that Dave, although he's my cousin, would want to be with Jeremy after the funeral, to show his support and share in the grief for a brother lost.. So of course when we went back to Houston for only a few days to celebrate the holidays, we made sure to set aside some time for them.

Sydney and Jack also got to spend a lot of time with both of their grandmothers. Sydney has still not settled on different names for the two of them and called them both "grandmother" at her birthday. After the last month, she has taken to calling them "my grandmother" (my mom) and "my sad grandmother" (Kim) which is sweet and accurate, to a point, but makes us really want to help her find a new name for at least one of them.

Throughout the Christmas season, I was keenly aware that we are starting to build traditions. Some of the things we did (like the Gingerbread House) had been part of last years' celebration and it was just a matter of continuing, but other things that we did were establishing new routines of our own.

One tradition we knew we wanted to continue was going to see the Nutcracker and giving Sydney her very own new Nutcracker doll.

We also knew we wanted to go back the Houston Zoo, if not on Christmas Eve, then at least in that week leading up to Christmas. This time we brought the Gonzalez family with us. They had spent a lot of time with Jack during the last month and are in the process of developing a deep bond with him that I wanted to encourage while giving Sydney her own opportunities to hang out with Aunt Dani, Uncle Mark, Lillia and Myles.

We spent a great deal of time shopping the zoo gift shop and then headed out to the carousel which Sydney loved, loved, loved. After that, Sydney wanted to play on the zoo playground and then we headed home when it started to rain, prompting Sydney to say, "Oh, no, there weren't any animals at the zoo!" So yes, we went to the zoo for Christmas and really didn't see any animals. Luckily Uncle Mark and Aunt Dani bought us a family zoo membership for Christmas so we can go back really soon.

While we were celebrating with family in Houston, I got a call from Sydney's buddy Andrew's mom. She wanted to invite us to drive out to Belton where there is a HUGE light display to drive through.

We took one car so that Sydney and Andrew could ride in the back seat together and then drove out to Belton. The light displays were amazing. It took over thirty minutes to drive through the whole thing. Sadly, the kids felt tricked in that they thought we were going to drive, park, get out of the car and run amuck into the light displays instead of calming driving through.

I liked the grown-up plan better, of course. But since the kids didn't get to run around at the light display, we took them to the park the next day, which happened to be Christmas Eve.

It's a little hard to have great Christmas traditions around Christmas Eve and Christmas Day when there isn't any family nearby and we're committed to letting our kids be in their own home for Christmas morning, so it was nice to have some time with friends.

Since we were building traditions with just the four of us, I looked for fun things to do that Sydney and I could really get into. We did a lot of crafts. Many of which turned out to be nice Christmas gifts for grandparents.

I also started a new tradition (which I shared with Kristy) of wrapping presents in brown kraft paper and then using paint, markers, stickers, etc. to decorate it.

We also introduced Sydney to the joy of lighting a fire on a cold(ish) winter night and drinking hot(ish) cocoa.

Christmas Eve, the church does a special Children and Family Christmas Eve service which we had never been able to do before. After the service, we came home to do chocolate fondue.

And Christmas morning, we did the great present opening. Sydney's big gifts were a Little People castle set (from Ebay), and a bicycle (from craigslist). Her favorite gift, though, was a bear family that had been mine when I was a little girl. They were originally marketed as "Maple Town." The family actually has five members, but I chose to just get out the mama, papa, big sister, and baby for now. The bear family was living in the castle, but it was overrun with dragons, so they now live in the refrigerator of Sydney's play kitchen.

I loved seeing Sydney help her brother with his Christmas. She emptied his stocking for him, handed him gifts, and even played with him during the morning. Sydney also picked out gifts for her dad and me. Jeremy got a 100 piece puzzle and a small potted plant. I got a lint roller.

Sydney also helped her dad with some of the Christmas cooking. Jeremy made the fondue for Christmas Eve, sausage balls for Christmas breakfast, pasta fagioli for Christmas lunch, and chocolate chip cookies for "dinner."

Overall, though it was a difficult Christmas, it was a beautiful one. Sydney and Jack both grew closer to family members and Jeremy and I grew closer to each other. Loss makes you evaluate what you have and what we have is an amazing marriage, two wonderful children, numerous family and friends who are willing to do anything for us when we need them, and all of our material needs met with room to spare.

What more is there to wish for but more time with the ones we love?

Merry Christmas.