Grandma's 60th Birthday

Dear Sydney,

Today was your grandmother's 60th birthday. Two days ago we went to her birthday party. Thinking about my mother turning sixty makes me want to stop and share some things with you.

I realized that I wanted to share with your brother a listing of facts and anecdotal stories about her. But for you, since you are my daughter and I am hers, I wanted to share more about what I have learned from her; what I hope you learn from me.

1. Enjoy each season of life as it comes.

My mother was always pointing out other kids who were acting so much more grown-up than their age... nine year olds wearing make-up, twelve year olds in short skirts, teenagers acting like married couples. She made it clear to me that I should enjoy being a kid while I was a kid. I've tried to extend that into living in each season of life and not rushing to the next.

2. Good friends are worth keeping.

I think my mother's newest friend is either Mrs. Stocco or Mrs. Bagley. I think she met Mrs. Stocco around 1990 and I'm pretty sure that she knew Mrs. Bagley by then, but I know the two of them became close after they both became widows around 1996. So that means that her "new" friends have been her friends for about twenty years. Her "old" friends have been around since the early 70's, so about thirty-five to forty years.

3. Be creative.

My mother marvels at my creative ideas, but she's the one who hot glued sequins on a pair of canvas flip flops for my wedding. She's also the one who stapled a Strawberry Shortcake sheet to the wall in my room when I was a kid and then used bias tape as a border. She also made a light switch cover out of a remnant piece that had Apple Dumpling (my favorite character) on it.

4. Size only matters if you think it does.

My mother is a large woman. There's no denying it. But the only thing that has ever bothered me about her weight is the effect on her health and the way it has bothered her. Every child thinks their mama is larger than life, and I just remember being more sure of it than anyone I knew. I felt sorry for my friends with their skinny little mamas -- where did they lay their heads when they weren't feeling good? My mama's lap was like a pillow and I remember nothing felt as safe and secure as being on it.

5. Respect the elderly.

I remember my mother visiting with the old ladies at church and I remember her taking me to see her grandmother in San Antonio. When my Mema, her mother, lost her house in Tropical Storm Alison, my mom took Mema to live with her. My mother, who is shy is a lot of ways, makes herself outgoing when it comes to connecting with her seniors.

6. Education is important.

I'm not sure how old I was when my mother started putting South Houston High School clothes on me, but I remember seeing a very small t-shirt that said "class of '95" on it. She also talked about "when" my sister and I would go to college, not "if."

7. If you start it, finish it.

Oh how I hated it when my mother made me finish a season of softball or complete the year of band when I was miserable and as my mother she should be sympathetic. But I have to admit that I look back at the decision and applaud it. I know I'm a better person for having learned at a young age to keep my commitments.

8. Keep your temper

I know I have a temper and sometimes, it still fires up inside me. But I hope that you and your brother never see it and if you don't, it will be because of all of the hard work your grandmother put in to teach me to keep it. Of all the things she taught me, I think that lesson is one of the most valuable.

9. It's okay to cry.

By the time you read this, the world of advertising may have changed quite a bit. But in recent years, there have been a string of Hallmark card commercials that feature somebody, a son or daughter, a mother, a father, a grandparent, living far from someone else and they get a card in the mail and it makes their day. Your grandmother tears up every time she sees one of those commercials. She cries during movies and television shows. She cries when others are supremely happy and when they are very sad. She cries when something moves her. I imagine she may cry when she reads this list. She's like that. And so am I. And it's okay. If you need to cry, go right ahead.

10. No one loves you like your mama and daddy love you.

I recently got a new phone and made the ringtone for when your grandma calls me "Who I Am" by Jessica Andrews. The chorus starts like this:

I am Rosemary's granddaughter
The spitting image of my father
And when the day is done
My momma's still my biggest fan

There have been times... years even... when your grandma and I have not seen eye to eye. I have rallied against her and argued with her and disagreed with almost every word out of her mouth. But no matter what I did, no matter how she disagreed with my choices, my opinions, my philosophies, she still took joy in my accomplishments and wanted only good things for me. She really is my biggest fan.

As your dad and I are yours.

So happy birthday to your grandma and many happy returns.

Love,
Mom