All that being said, at some point, every child balks at having mom pick out every outfit. Knowing that, and wanting Sydney to have some expression of self and control over that expression, I keep reminding myself that I have to prepare for the day she wants to dress herself. The trick is how to handle it along the way.
Today, for example, Sydney told me that "it's 'mportant me to wear my black shoes." At the time, she was wearing her Southwestern t-shirt and brown shorts. The black shoes in question are dress shoes. Um, no.
"But Mommy, it's 'mportant me to wear my black shoes."
Jeez. She's even resorting to reasoning with me. What to do? What to do?
A trade!
"You can wear the black shoes if you change clothes."
"Um, okay."
She changed out of the brown shorts into a black hounds tooth skirt without any argument, but as I was looking for a shirt to go with the skirt and shoes...
"Mommy, 'mportant me to wear my yellow shirt."
Her yellow Southwestern shirt with a hounds tooth skirt and black dress shoes? Um, no.
"But Mommy, 'mportant me to wear my yellow shirt."
What? No fit, no crying? Nothing I can latch on to as a way to make this decision final? Sigh.
What to do?
Another trade.
"Okay, but you're going to have to let me do your hair."
So that at least it looks like we planned this outfit and fussy old ladies can tell I tried.
And honestly, I think she looks cute.
Sydney does look adorable! That shirt is okay with the skirt. I do understand about little girls and clothes . . . Courtney wore ONLY skirts and dresses her kindergarten year. She would only wear shorts UNDERNEATH skirts and she wouldn't wear pants or jeans or leggings. On a few of the very coldest days, she would wear tights under her skirts, but really, not very often. I got lots of strange looks from folks in stores and other public places, who did not know us. But friends and neighbors who knew my daughter - and her stubborness! - understood perfectly!
ReplyDeleteI think the key is helping them look like they made a choice and not letting them look like no one cared what they wore.
ReplyDeleteI had a student two years ago who wore blue jean shorts with striped tights at least twice a week and I thought she was pretty awesome.
I have had these clothing battles and let me just say that if my boys were half as reasonable as Sydney in their arguments, they would be wearing whatever they pleased! How do you hold your ground when she is so darned calm and reasonable?? I don’t know if I could do it.
ReplyDeleteTanner went through a stage last month where he would only wear jeans. He did not want his friends to see his knees. Not sure where that came from. Of course, he had mostly outgrown all of his jeans, so he was wearing highwaters to school. That did not help my mom self esteem, at all. Now he is in a stripes only stage. Gotta love a strong minded child!
She does look adorable...as usual.
You know, I did try to hold my ground and make her just wear the crocs with the SU t-shirt and brown shorts. It was the reasonableness that got a change in clothes at all. I'm hoping that caving in to reasoned arguments means she'll try to use more of them.
ReplyDeleteI tried to throw out an Elmo bath mat Jeremy's mom bought that was trapping sand under it in the bathtub... she looked at me and said, "My gramber buy that for me. Put it back." Guess what's in the tub still and guess whose cleaning the bathtub more often? It was a convincing argument.
I just LOVE that she can negotiate like that... she may be Secretary of State one day!
ReplyDeleteYou're doing a great thing by letting her have some autonomy over her clothing. Her dad and uncles got alot of 'free rein' when it came to their appearance and I think they benefited from it...
That's funny, Emmalyn and I had the same discussion this morning because she wanted to wear the black dress shoes with her blue jean shorts and t-shirt. But it ended when we couldn't find the 2nd black shoe, and I explained to her that she definately could not wear 1 black dress shoe to school.
ReplyDelete