Sgt. James Michael Nolen
1984-2009
This Memorial Day was tough one. It was the first Memorial Day since Uncle James was killed in action. In previous years, like many Americans, I "celebrated" Memorial Day by enjoying the fact that summer was upon us, that there was no school, and that most stores have great sales. In previous years, I walked around the outlet mall telling folks "happy Memorial Day" like I was wishing them a Merry Christmas.
Is that really what Memorial Day has become for our country?
The irony is that through the sacrifice of all of our servicemen and women and their families, we are left with a country so free and safe that we have the luxury of ignoring how it got to be that way in the first place.
I used to have that luxury. I don't any more.
These days, Memorial Day is a day that I had to plan for, be ready to find a place to honor the fallen with other folks who wanted this day to be about something more important than the outlet mall. I found out that Sun City has a very nice Veterans Memorial Plaza and they had quite the gathering there today.
Is that really what Memorial Day has become for our country?
The irony is that through the sacrifice of all of our servicemen and women and their families, we are left with a country so free and safe that we have the luxury of ignoring how it got to be that way in the first place.
I used to have that luxury. I don't any more.
These days, Memorial Day is a day that I had to plan for, be ready to find a place to honor the fallen with other folks who wanted this day to be about something more important than the outlet mall. I found out that Sun City has a very nice Veterans Memorial Plaza and they had quite the gathering there today.
It was crowded and hot, and the seating was whatever you brought with you, so a single stroller for us. But the words shared, the presence of the various color guards and the many, many veterans made the day take on the shape I wanted it to.
At one point, one of the speakers asked everyone to find a veteran and shake his or her hand. We saw many people coming over to an older gentleman near us, so I went over and thanked him for his service. He smiled sweetly and said I was welcome. Sydney was watching everyone shake that man's hand, so she went over and did the same. I know she didn't know why she was shaking his hand, but this time next year she will.
She did understand that this day was about Uncle James. She spoke of him being a soldier and we talked about how important that was to him and to us. We also talked about Uncle Jonathan being a sailor, but somehow she didn't believe me. In the end, we had to call Uncle Jon to clarify his vocation.
She did understand that this day was about Uncle James. She spoke of him being a soldier and we talked about how important that was to him and to us. We also talked about Uncle Jonathan being a sailor, but somehow she didn't believe me. In the end, we had to call Uncle Jon to clarify his vocation.
We finished up Memorial Day at Sonic. We were really just going there for something to drink -- it was very hot today. But Sydney wanted an ice cream cone and it felt like the kind of moment to indulge in a treat. I was starting to feel bad that we had ventured into the realm of "Memorial Day - Americana style" where folks celebrate Memorial Day with backyard barbecues and ice cream. Then Jeremy looked at Sydney and told her that her Uncle James had worked at Sonic and I remembered it, too. So then the trip to Sonic became another shared experience with Uncle James and that felt just right.
It wasn't a "happy Memorial Day," but then again, I'm not sure it ever should be.
Uncle James, and many other heroes like him paid the ultimate price for freedom. So it seems like so little to give back, to take a day to stop and remember them.
Fallen. Not forgotten.
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