Where Were You Without Me?

Dear Sydney,

Before your daddy and I got married, I knew that he didn't really believe in God the way I did. When you are dating someone, a thing like that can seem really unimportant. But I did know that one day we might have kids and then it would be very important. And so I told him that I insisted on raising Christian children. He said that he understood and he promised to support me in that endeavor.

Soon after we got married, I started looking for a church home and found it in the Lutheran church. Your dad didn't really attend, but that was okay with me at the time.

The pastor of that church, Reverend Hartzell spoke to me and your dad on numerous occasions, and he told your dad that studies show that children follow the worship habits of their fathers more than those of their mothers, and because of that, once we had kids, your dad would need to attend with the family.

True to his word, once you came along, your dad started attending church.

After a while, the Lutheran church seemed like less of a fit for us, and we switched to St. John's Methodist church where we still attend today.

Your dad comes to church every Sunday and I have to believe that one of these days, one of those sermons or some other testimony is going to work its way into his heart, but I still felt that the only reason our family attended at all was because I was there to see to it.

Then I went to North Carolina for a weekend.

Do you know where you were that Sunday morning?

At church just like always.

I really had not expected your daddy to take you. But he did. I asked him later why he did, and he said, "Because I knew it would make you happy."

It's not the reason I wished he would attend, but he is so right. It did make me happy. But more than that, it reassured me. I know that if anything happened to your dad, I would have to do a lot more to take care of our household -- cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping and paying the bills. For the first time, I realized that your dad knows that in the absence of me, he has to do a lot more to take care of your little soul.

And it brings such joy to mine to know that.

I pray for you to find your soul mate someday and I pray that he is a good Christian man. But if for some reason, your soul mate has lost his faith, I pray that he be a man like your father -- a man of honor and integrity; a man of his word.

Love
Mom